We were very excited to receive our Chumby today in the mail. Chumby is an adorable, squeezable bean bag with a cuddly creature-shaped charm on it. You can hold it, cuddle it, or toss it around the room, though that might not be a great idea because it has a computer inside.

The device pulls wireless Internatz content through the ether to display a chain of Flash Lite 3 displays, called “Widgets”, that can do anything from displaying the time and weather to updating you on the latest Chuck Norris legends. The designers built Chumby so that owners can very easily develop content for it, which is then uploaded to the Chumby network to enjoy privately or to share with other Chumby owners. Chumby Industries even actively encourages its userbase to hack the device, providing Chumby schematics and specs on their site.

Long before the Chumby was released, i knew it was right up my alley. i’ve long been looking for a device that will run Flash that i could show off to my friends, and the fact that this thing is encased in a cozy beanbag drove it way beyond “Daddy Wanty” on my “Vapid Materialism Metre”. Unfortunately, the Chumby isn’t the answer to my portable device fantasies that i was hoping for.

Crumby

No device is perfect, and i hate obsessing over the flaws of a device once it’s in my hot little hands, so let’s get this part over with quickly. The trouble with the Chumby, as most online reviews attest, are as follows:

1. Unresponsive touch screen
2. No hardware volume control
3. Wall power required.

This last point absolutely killed me. The Chumby has to be plugged in via its AC adapter and cable to function. My dreams of running through idyllic meadows, spinning my battery-enabled Chumby around in my arms and collapsing into a bed of fluffy dandelions was shattered. The need to plug in your Chumby precludes all kinds of interesting uses, not least of all carrying on a polite conversation with someone about all the magical things you can do, and then proving it by pulling a bizarre touch screen-enabled beanbag out of your pocket and demonstrating your software.

i haven’t owned the Chumby long enough to comment on the missing volume dial, but i immediately noticed that the touch screen was not very sensitive. Regardless, folks with meatfingers like mine are probably best off using a stylus. i can’t even wrap my sausage-digits around the P2 interface to play a lousy song or two.

Untold Entertainment

So with its mandatory wall-tether, the Chumby makes for an expensive, gadget-lover’s alarm clock replacement. i’ll wait until the hardware hackers come up with a cool Chumby Mech Suit that lets your little beanbag walk around the house shooting tiny layzzor beams at your cats. Until then, the Chumby can download and play Widgets for free from the Chumby Network.

i’m still in the process of reviewing the 50-odd games available on the Network to figure out where my Chumby ambitions lie. i am excited to exploit the more unusual features of the device, like the squeeze sensor and the accelerometer.

The Cure for the Common DJ

Even if the Chumby is destined to sit dutifully by my bedside for the rest of its life, i was more than thrilled to unplug my old alarm clock and all but hurl it out the window. For the past few months, i’ve been enduring Toronto radio DJ Bill Carroll talking about how much he hates cyclists. Just this morning, he was talking about the current Toronto police campaign to improve cyclist awarness, and complaining about the fact that he’ll now have to signal before making turns in his car just for the benefit of cyclists, because the police are watching. A few weeks ago, after a cyclist was killed when someone opened a car door in his path, Carroll put the blame on cyclists.

As a cyclist who commutes with his 2-year-old daughter to day care every morning, i don’t enjoy waking up to this guy dangerously misinforming his listeners, tacitly defending motorists who maim and murder adults and children on bicycles. Good riddance, Carroll! Say … perhaps the Chumby could use a “Punch Your Detested Morning DJ in the Face” app?

But no! i must not use my Chumby for evil. i will most likely tool up a quick little game get my feet wet with the Chumby, before embarking on something more ambitious.

If i develop anything that can be played properly on your computer, i’ll be sure to make it available on the Untold Entertainment Games Page. If i build stuff that uses the squeeze or motion sensors, you’ll have to consider getting a Chumby!

i’m astounded at the news reported by Joystiq today, that the cards for Sony’s new Eye of Judgment game can be copied and played.

This blows my mind for a few reasons. For starters, the game is packed with a camera peripheral, a starter pack of cards, and the game disc, and it costs about the same as any other game. Clearly, they were taking a loss on the product so they could earn their money back tenfold on card purchases. With players photocopying cards, that business model goes out the window.

i’m also really surprised because i remember trying to fake out Nintendo’s ill-fated e-Reader peripheral. The e-Reader’s cards had a strip of dots printed in super hi-resolution that could not be reproduced by machines crafted by mere mortals. “A-ha,” i thought, “But what about the office laser printer?”

i tried and tried, but i couldn’t get the printer to hammer out the dots small enough or clear enough for the e-Reader to register. And then i threw my e-Reader into the ocean, where all of my unwanted things end up.

i checked out the Sony Consumer Electronics show this afternoon. The big press show was on Thursday. This event seemed like more of a bid for Sony to show Joe Public that they’ve purchased and renamed the Sony Centre …. formerly the Hummingbird Centre … formerly the O’Keefe Centre … formerly a large empty field where cows liked to romp and moo.

Announced in Japan today but not available to us unrefined North Americans is the Rolly, an MP3 player shaped like a thermal detonator that dances while playing music. As the suppository-shaped device gyrated ly, proclaiming that its “hips don’t lie,” the crowd stood mystified, wondering why anyone would buy it.

“Where’re you s’posed to use that thingy?” asked one guy in the gathering crowd. The demo jockey said “You can have this in your home, or at your cottage … or in your chalet.”

IN YOUR CHALET. You can purchase the Sony Rolly for your chalet.

i don’t know what this guy was thinking. My only explanation is that Swiss Chalet is a very popular chain restaurant unique to Canada, and this guy was a visiting yank who was trying to contextualize the Rolly’s brilliance for the locals using words they’d understand.

The dumbfounded man stood slack-jawed as the Rolly spun around a few more times. Then he said “Well what’re you s’posed to DO with it?”

The demo jockey, undaunted, said “Well i have one of these, and i showed it to my friends, and they were entertained by it all night.”

i couldn’t resist. i asked “Did you entertain them in your home, or in your chalet?”

When the Rolly shimmies its way to Canada, it’s expected to cost $400. Also in this price range: lighting $400 on fire.